Wednesday, March 08, 2006


When I was posting my long explanation of ちゃけど the other day I was beside myself with grief for forgetting the Japanese word for "custy prim proper girl who puts effort into being cute."

It finally hit me today!

This word needs a back story.

Meet Satou Tamao.

This actress is probably Japan's most famous ブリッコ.

She is also a famous グラビアアイドル and has appeared in porn videos in the past. You can find a full write-up on wikipedia. Of course, it's all in Japanese, but that's why you're here in the first place.

A ブリッコ is a girl who has no genuine qualities up for public consumption. She is usually large in the chest region, short, has perfected her own version of a "mouth at rest" which always looks such that people say "oh! doesn't she have a cute mouth?!" (I always don't think so and thus, fights begin), and she puts every last ounce of her being into being as sickeningly cute as possible.

These girls aren't cute in ways nature intended. These girls are the product of managers' and producers' years of guidance and correction about what "saleable cuteness" means. These girls usually appeal to very, very lonely boys who wouldn't stand a chance with financially accessible partners. There are probably a good many videos of this girl on the net, but in the interests of saving my wits before they end - I choose not to go looking on your behalf.

As you might be able to tell - I'm not a fan of ブリッコ girls. They try to be cuter and cuter with each new talk show their lecherous managers force them to appear on. They have universally recognized hand-gestures that only they can perform on television. They like to widen their eyes on purpose to give an "always surprised" expression, and you can easily pick them out of a crowd by the deliberately slow, purposefully youthful Japanese they employ when speaking about simple things like cookies.

So the next time you see a girl going out of her way to try and act cutsy - stop right in front of her, look her dead in the eye, and say in an extra loud voice, "ブリッコーちゃん、お前はかわいくない!”

And if that doesn't make her cry, just jab her in the eyeball.

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